These are books, my darling.

These are books, my darling.  You can taste it if you like, turn it around, open it up and shut it again with a loud bang.  You can pat it, drop it, scratch it, open it up to enjoy the colours and the shapes.  Inside these books you will find stories to fire your imagination, characters who will become your friends and words that will become your words.  We will share lots of these books together, cuddling close while we do.  You will ask me what words mean, I will ask you what do you think they mean.  You may ask me to read the same book again and again and I will, for you, I will.  We have lots to look forward to, you and I.  We will buy some books, borrow some books, make some books.  Just like your sisters before you.  (I have some experience in these matters).  In moments of boredom, tiredness, sadness I will reach for a book and we will escape in to it together.  For me, it is the most wonderful thing I can introduce you to, the world of books and stories.  They have been great companions and teachers to me and I'm sure they will to you too.  You will have your own relationship with books, your own tastes and preferences, just share them with me will you?

For now though, you are just getting used to the taste, the feel, the shape of books.  You take your time. I'm here when you're ready for a story.  I have lots of suggestions of stories you might like.  You're a lucky little girl, you have a Mummy, Daddy and sisters all eager to read to you and a house with lots of books.   Elmer, Kipper, Wibbly Pig, Wobble Bear, are all ready to meet you too, to say hi and welcome you in to their colourful world.  These are books, my darling, I hope you like them as much as I do.

An alternative 'To Do' list

My normal 'to do' list for a day would include the usual things like, call the dentist, pick up dry cleaning, buy milk and bread, order a birthday present, etc.  The standard kind of stuff.  Last night I was just about to write a to do list for today, so that I could empty my mind before I go to sleep, otherwise I can't go to sleep.  It occurred to me though, what about a different kind of 'To Do' list?  What if I made a list of some of the things that are really important to me?  What if I gave these things a focus for today instead of the more mundane tasks?

So here goes, an alternative 'To Do' list;

- Sit down with that first cup of tea of the morning and taste it
- Inhale the sweet scent of my baby
- Kiss my husband and tell him I'm proud of him
- Check my e-mail only once today
- Give my girls my time and my love, the best gifts of all
- Go out in to the garden and see what it's been up to all winter
- Enjoy the feel of running my hands through freshly washed hair
- Listen to the responses when I ask people questions
- Read, read, read
- Forgive myself for not being perfect
- Give thanks for everything

What would be on yours?

Life is beautiful

"One reason why we are so refreshed and uplifted by natural beauty is that we feel, even if obscurely, our connection with the great scheme of life on our planet and its deep imperatives"  (A.C.Grayling, 'Why Beauty Matters')

A hungry baby waiting patiently in her highchair.  Two big girls drawing and colouring at the kitchen table as my arms reached out like tentacles to make baby food, steam vegetables, pour milk, lay the table and wash dishes all at the same time. (It's a special superpower you develop when you become a mum)  And then I glanced up and saw this out of the window and everything had to come to a halt while I went to get my camera, exclaiming over my shoulder,  "Look how the sky has gone pink girls!"  And orange and blue and purple and yellow.  The sky looked like this for such a brief time, it had to be snapped quickly.  It had to be appreciated right now, this second!  The trees stood in shadow, highlighting the rainbow colours in the sky.  Then it was back inside, the moment had passed.  It was  beautiful.  It would have been beautiful if I had noticed it or not, but I did notice, I did look up from my 'getting dinner on the table' busyness.  I saw it.  I really saw it.    

Blissful reading

With a sleeping baby on my lap, my two eldest daughters happily playing upstairs and a few hours to go before I had to get dinner ready, I stole a few precious moments of blissful reading.  I had raced through most of the book and now wanted to read the last few pages.  It is such a wonderful book,  it is a non-fiction account of the relationship between a mother and son after the diagnosis of the mother's pancreatic cancer and the subsequent book club they form, just the two of them, reading and discussing the books sitting in hospital whilst the mother was undergoing treatments.  I loved the story of the relationships in the book, the wisdom and kind nature of the author's mother and I just love a book about books and the joy of reading.  How poor my life would be without books, what a different person I would be, what a tidier house I would have with all that free time!

A book written honestly and from the heart, about real events and real people is just the kind of book I like.  Fiction can be great too, but this style has to be my favourite, I should write one sometime.  I finished the book, still with my sleeping angel on my lap, and reached for my laptop to write and thank the author for writing such a wonderful, moving book.  (I have only ever done that once before).  I received an e-mail thanking me for my e-mail, do I write and say thanks back?  This could get silly.    Read it, read it, read it, is all I can say.

 The baby woke up, my little reading time was over.  I had to put the book down, dry my eyes and get on with my various roles of cook, cleaner, laundry woman, peace keeper; but I resumed these roles a little bit wiser, a little bit more nourished, and a little bit more grateful for a life with good books, happy children and a beautiful sleeping baby.

Watching their creativity flow

"Everyday is loaded with creative potential"  (Danny Gregory, 'The Creative License')

I love it when a little something new in the house creates a new energy, a new source of fun.  Last week it was liquid chalk pens, which proved to be a really good purchase.  I opened the box and off they went, doodling and writing away all day on the windows and they're still coming back to it everyday, adding something new.  This weekend it was the addition of a chalkboard to the kitchen wall.  A small tin of blackboard paint and a little piece of wood for the chalk to sit on and again the girls got straight in to it.  We introduced them to the game 'Pictionary' and they haven't stopped playing it since.  We see lots of potential with the new chalkboard, messages left for one another, games, pictures,  spellings, times table practice and maybe a few inspirational words for Mummy, who likes to be reminded of the wonderful things she reads.

Our house is steadily being taken over by children's artwork, we may continue to cover every wall, but I love it.  I provide some new materials and give the girls the freedom and space to just do their thing.  I'm not so easygoing when it comes to other things, I like them to be in bed by a certain time, wash their hands before a meal, but when it comes to their creativity I really just want to sit back and watch it flow.  When I was training to be a teacher some years ago I came across the concept of a teacher being a 'facilitator' as opposed to being a fountain of knowledge, imparting that knowledge in to the students' brains which they would just soak up.  Learning and creativity doesn't work like that.  There are some things I teach my children, we're still working on shoelaces and telling the time.  There are also many things I don't want to teach my children, I want to be their facilitator, providing the resources and the environment in which they can learn, explore and discover things all by themselves.  This is my thinking behind these new materials in our home.  That and, quite simply, we had a really fun time.
     

'Ten Mindful Minutes' by Goldie Hawn

I did a double-take too when I saw the name 'Goldie Hawn'.  You mean 'Private Benjamin' Goldie Hawn, I thought?!  She is the author of this really wonderful and inspiring book, 'Ten Mindful Minutes'. It goes in to great detail about how to live a more mindful life with your children and how to help them develop certain skills that will help them deal with stress and ultimately make them happier.  The opening paragraph grabbed me from the start as it resounded with me so strongly;

"From the day my first child was born, I knew that I could not fail at one thing in my life - being a good mother.  My most challenging and important role would be to help shape those little beings of pure potential."

There's lots to reflect on and lots of little practical snippets that I like to collect from non-fiction books like these, like a magpie collecting treasures.  Ideas like getting your children to describe what the food they're eating tastes like over dinner as a way of encouraging them to be mindful of what it is they're actually eating (good for their literacy too!)  Or, asking them to write a small list or discuss with you what it is that makes them happy.  One I particularly like is 'The Paper Chain of Kindness', I ask my daughters have they done anything kind that day?  Or I decide that they have just done something kind and I write it on a slip of paper to make a paper chain out of.  It's a small thing, we probably won't do it forever, but it's a pleasurable exercise for now.  This is the magic of kindness isn't it?  My daughters smile and feel good about themselves when it has been acknowledged that they have done a kind thing (I know I always acknowledge when they do unkind things, so this is really just redressing that imbalance)  An added bonus is that it also reminds me, have I done anything kind today?  I'll see what I can do before bedtime.

Their natural habitat

         

We nearly went in to town on a saturday afternoon. We saw the sunshine and the blue sky and realised we couldn't waste this opportunity to get outside.  Three children walking around shops on a busy afternoon in town is not really my idea of a good time.  Watching them become totally absorbed in their game of den-building and mud-mixing is my idea of a wonderful time.  Sticks were carefully placed to an already existing structure, the mud was mixed with some water to make "ice-cream and beef"!  We stayed at a distance with the littl'un.  We marvelled at how much they were enjoying themselves, they could have stayed all day, I could have watched them all day.  There was no arguing, no hitting, no technology,  no toys, no whining.  Just pure, all-consuming play.

They were children in their natural habitat, doing what they do best.  We were just the facilitators, we got them there, we supervised them, I washed the mud out of their clothes that night.  It was a beautiful reminder that children really don't need that much to enjoy themselves, to express themselves, to 'be' themselves.  (So why did we spend so much at Christmas?)  From where I was standing they just looked so content and so alive and all they cared about was this very blissful moment.  I was reluctant to burst the bubble and announce it was home time, but they came, mud-smeared, rosy cheeked and nourished in a very natural way.