My baby is four

Tomorrow my baby Erin turns four.  I know, I know, she's four - she's not a baby.  I'm afraid I'm one of those mothers who struggles with her babies growing up.  I have been known to cry on their birthdays.  Pathetic yes, silly too.  It just feels like one minute you're changing their nappy and the next minute they're going places without you and being cheeky telling me to "Just stop it Mummy!" when I ask her for the tenth time to wash her hands before dinner.  I blinked and four years went by.  I know I'm not the only one to feel like this.  I am coming to the realisation that motherhood is about practising the art of letting go.

In the morning we will start the day with cards, balloons and presents.  A specially-requested breakfast of 'Daddy's pancakes'.  (They are very good, flavoured with sugar, cinnamon, lemon and maple syrup).  She'll then get dressed in her new outfit for the day and we'll head for her party which she is very excited about.  Erin has been discussing who is invited for months now, I was very glad to hear one night when she declared, "I love you Mummy, you can come to my party".  Thanks darling.

There will be the presents from the toy shop to open as well as a dolly I made for her.  It's taken me a long time to finish, but I'm so glad I did.  She may not even like it that much or play with it much either, I just really like giving her something that I made especially for her.  I can see it in my girls' faces that they do appreciate it when I make something for them, they understand on some level that I am giving them something made with my own hands, made just for them because I love them and want them to have something special.  I also really like the idea that later on in life they will have lots of items I have made for them over the years and hopefully they will treasure them.

Happy birthday my baby, today we will remember the day I met you for the first time and fell in love with you.  It was a wonderful day.  I didn't even know then how funny, cheeky, animated, playful, heartbreakingly-beautiful and loving you would be!