Looking back

Looking back at some old video footage, as I like to do when it's one of my baby's birthdays, there is such a mixture of feelings.  How sweet to see my six year old as a cute little two year old, still calling me Mama in her little baby voice.  How sweet to see my four year old as a newborn baby, tiny little hands and tiny little feet.  How bittersweet to note how the years are passing so quickly, too quickly.  How to cope with this?  With gratitude.  A lesson I am still learning, an art I am still trying to practice.  Not to feel sad that my girls are growing up, but to be grateful that I have these girls in my life at all.

In December so far there has been much to be grateful for;

- Erin's fourth birthday party, the happiness on her face as she was surrounded by her friends

- Time at home with Caitlin, nursing her back to health as she's fought off a very nasty ear and throat infection.  Holding her one night as she fell asleep in my arms as she did when she was a baby.  Knowing that when she is poorly she just wants her Mummy.

- Watching my girls play and squeal and giggle with their Grandma who came to visit.

- Their excitement each morning as they open their advent calendars.

- The fun they have in the bath together, splashing and jumping around, sharing the same sense of toilet humour, at times like this you can see just how close they are.

- Making Christmas cards with the girls and them listing all the friends they would like to give one to, they love their friends.

These video clips from the past are so precious, they remind me to get some more recent footage, to acknowledge the beauty of my girls right now, at this moment.  Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to come but I do have right now and that is a lot to be thankful for.